Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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