STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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