Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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