dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
