Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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