We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
