This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
