We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
