all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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