You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
