I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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