I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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