i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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