Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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