dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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