Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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