Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
