whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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