Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
