your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
