Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
