i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
