I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
try to milk me bitch
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
