found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
