Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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