So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I FOUND THE LEGS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
