Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
