we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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