I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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