Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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