She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
