Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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