belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
