I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
