just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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