maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
