my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
