Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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