the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
