In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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