glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
