she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Two words: nipple clamps
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
