I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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