real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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