from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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