we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
