Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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