Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
