Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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