Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She bit a glass in half.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
