he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
